Prayer

I find myself so much more dedicated to prayer since my time with Luke. I tend to have an on-going conversation with God a lot of days. A lot of the time it is because there are so many people I feel led to pray for. I also take the words "I'll pray for you" so much more to heart as I know the power of prayer when you are in a difficult situation. I am so thankful to have a God who cares to listen to our desires, needs, concerns and wants. This morning in Bible study the lady spoke of relationship not religion. Relationship is what we will have when we constantly converse with God and also take time to listen to him. I am trying hard to listen to him on the desire for a baby. We are all left with a desire for another baby but can't have any more of our own. We haven't yet felt led to any certain adoption agency. We did feel led in July to write a letter to a birthmother in the area who was looking for a family for her baby. She chose another family which we know was God's will. (We had been praying whatever was God's will in this situation.) We are still open for whatever God has in store for us whether it is to give us the closure that we will just be a family of four here on earth or open a door for a baby for us. We are just praying and listening.

Here is a picture of Hogan Sydney and me at the wedding in KC. Hogan was not thrilled to wear a tux, but Sydney was more than thrilled with her dress! It was on her birthday and made for a great party. She caught the bouquet and danced the entire night. Hogan was just happy playing Sydney's new Nintendo DS! It was really fun to be at a wedding and not a funeral! Our family has had too many of those this past year.

Dependence

"Are we living at such a level of human dependence on Jesus Christ that His life is being exhibited moment by moment in us?"

That question really stuck with me tonight as I read "Utmost for His Highest". I was talking this week with my friend about depending on God and how easy it is in situations of great need. How comforting it is to know God is there, supporting us and caring for us. That he just draws us so close in difficult times that we hunger for him. I think the farther we get away from these times the easier it is to depend less on God. I am trying to continue to depend on God with all my life (though it does get difficult when playing referee with my kids. I know I don't always glorify God in these times, but I guess that is the human side of me!) and hunger for him as much as I did when walking through Luke's life. We just don't know who is watching us and who might see Jesus in us in our every day activities. I know God uses us through our times of crisis. Even when we are hurting we can be a witness to others. My friend is already hearing of how others see her faith as she depends on God while she takes care of her husband with cancer. It felt so good to us to hear the stories of people who were touched through Luke's life. Those times are easy for me - I want to hunger and depend on God in the every day, moment to moment stuff. That's my goal this year.

We celebrated Hogan's 11th birthday this week with a sleepover/swimming/campout party. There were six boys who went from riding ATVs to driving the golfcart to swimming then back to ATVs...all night long! Finally when it was time to campout in the tent they lasted about 45 minutes and came in because they were too hot! At least they had fun! Next week we will celebrate Sydney's 7th birthday. Her party will have to wait a week because all the kids (Caleb, Sarah, Ben, Hogan and Sydney) will be in a wedding in KC on her birthday! I'm sure Kirsten will get some great pictures. Who needs to carry a camera when you have a sister-in-law with camera and video ready to shoot!