Luke's Garden

I don't know why it has taken me so long to put these pictures on. After Luke died a lot of people got us plants to make a garden for Luke. I took these pictures soon after we got it all in. The Texas girls bought a couple rose bushes, (one yellow rose of Texas bush!) a peony and a hydrangea. Kirsten's mom got some beautiful daylillies. The Larsen and Goerz families got a tea olive bush, gardenia (my favorite) and some forget-me-nots. Our parents stargazer lillies that were at the funeral are planted in the garden and an azalea and a hydrangea from Delta. It has been so fun watering and caring for this little garden. The roses have been beautiful and Kirsten took an award-winning picture one weekend - water droplets and all, but I can't seem to get it to load on the blog. Maybe she will put it on! Anyway, thank you to all who provided the plants they are beautiful and bringing enjoyment to us. This week the kids and I made a stone for the garden. It is now sticking among the plants and looks great. This picture is the stone in the drying process.

We are all still doing well. We have almost made it through our summer - it has gone really quickly! We are going to get one more day in at Six Flags tomorrow. Last time we were there my brother and I were riding the scariest ride I have ever been on - Acrophobia. You are in a chair with just a harness across your chest. The ride takes you 200 feet in the air and drops you at 62 mph. As we were getting ready to go up Rob checked his harness and said "this is the definition of trust". This was the only ride I have ever been on that took the scream out of my mouth! As I walked away on shakey legs I thought more about the trust we had in this seat and harness that held us on the ride. Sometimes we are faced with situations in life where we have to trust God to be our safety harnesses. I am thankful to have lived through a few but have never had the shakey feeling I did getting off that ride. Putting my trust in God is so much more secure and goes beyond all earthly measures of feeling. I am thankful to have a Father who holds us securely in His arms in times of trouble and in whom we can place our trust.

Family

This is a family tradition - the Fourth of July parade in Peachtree City. As you can see I did a little tie-dyeing this year! We love to look obnoxious with our spirit - the more red, white and blue the better. One year we may even be in the parade. Who knows what we will represent but the float will be awesome. Every year we add more ideas to our list for someday!

We still miss Luke and always will. As far as grieving, I think I grieved for Luke so much while he was alive that I am doing well right now. As far as the kids and Eric, it is hitting a little more lately. We just try to support each other, cry and talk about it. That seems to help. We pray as a family for God's direction for us and are ready for where he leads.

Today some beautiful little girls who live in an orphanage in Haiti sang at church about needing nothing but the Lord. They truly have nothing but Jesus. It was so moving to listen to and think about what they were singing. We truly need nothing more in this world than Jesus. He can take care of our every need and is our hope for heaven. I strive daily to put God first in all I do and to be bold enough to share him with others. It doesn't always work that way. The stuff of life always creeps in to busy up my day. But each day I will wake up and do my best to start with God and his desires for my life.

Life

God is so good to give us glimpses of his plan. This week I re-connected with one our nurses at Piedmont up in the city. (Luke was born at Piedmont - Fayette and then transferred to Piedmont in the city then moved to Children's Healthcare of Atlanta). I often wondered why so many hospitals. I think now one of the reasons was so we could meet Teri. She emailed me this week to say how sad she was over Luke's death and to share her own story with me. Her 17 year-old son died just a few days after Luke. He was involved in a car accident on Mother's Day. She had her son so much longer and he was taken so suddenly. I am so sad for her. Who knew when we met in February that we would both lose our sons a few months later. I am thankful God allowed us to bond over Luke. It will be good to share grief with her and also good to talk about Luke. She was one person who really knew him when he was awake and interacting. She always told me "there is just something special about him when I look into his eyes". I shared with her how my brother's pastor used bubbles in his Easter sermon to talk about our lives. Some last just for a second and some much longer. Each one is precious no matter how long they are here and each one special and unique. I will always think about that when I see bubbles and think about Luke's short little life that was so big in its impact. Tonight my nephew Ben was blowing bubbles and watching them rise high in the air. He said they were flying up to heaven! Heaven is so real to all of and seems so close now that Luke is there.

Tears of Joy

I have to thank my brother Rob and sister-in-law Kirsten for the beautiful video of Luke's life. They are such wonderfully talented people as well as tremendous supports for all of us.

I too watched the beautiful video of Luke with tears streaming down my face - tears of joy for the beautiful little boy God entrusted to us for a short time. As I was crying and watching Sydney said, "You know he is in a better place, Mommy". I think that is where we all are. We miss Luke but know he is in a much better way and place. Tonight as we were going to bed Sydney said," I just wish Luke could have stayed here. I really wanted a baby in our own family to take care of." We talked some more about God's plans and how this one would have to remain God's plan as we can't have any more children of our own. I know this is all difficult for a six-year-old to understand, good thing ours is six going on 16! We do all love babies and had so much fun holding my cousin's baby Cooper last week in Kansas City. He is a darling eight-month old chunk! I think the mothering nature is like that of a shepherd. In a devotional book I was reading by Max Lucado he talks about "God ... the waiting Father, the caring Shepherd in search of his lamb. His legs are scratched, his feet are sore and his eyes are burning. He scales the cliffs and traverses the fields. He explores the caves. He cups his hands to his mouth and calls into the canyon. And the name he call is yours... The message is simple: God gave up his Son in order to rescue all his sons and daughters." What a picture of God searching for each one of us to be his children. It is so important to know him and listen to his voice.
I pray for God to continue using us as a family, I pray we will be still and listen to his voice, I pray God will continue growing our faith and keep us close beside him - our Shepherd.

remembering Luke

Blessed Assurance

"Blessed Assurance, Jesus is mine, Oh what a foretaste of Glory divine." I have been blessed with assurance this week from God and a glimpse of Glory. As always I tend to "think" about life and Luke more on Sundays and last Sunday I was really struggling with Luke's life and death. I didn't feel well Sunday night and went to bed early (way before midnight! - early for me) but ended up being up off and on all night. I did a lot of praying that God would take this struggle from me with all the "what-ifs" going through my mind. Sometime in the night I had a very vivid image of my dad, who died nine years ago, holding Luke - a healthy Luke. He was standing with both of my grandmothers and Eric's grandfather, all whom have died in the last year. It was a very comforting image. I also relived each of the dreams I had while Luke was alive. In each of the dreams Luke was laughing and pulling his breathing tube out and getting away from me like it was a game. I woke up Monday feeling quite a weight lifted from me. I felt the complete assurance that Luke was okay and where he was supposed to be from the beginning. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Luke came for a purpose and God has shown me Luke has received his reward in heaven. I have been filled with a peace this week that only God can give.

Peace was good to have this week since it was Vacation Bible School week. It was such a fun week of teaching, crafting, laughing and of course eating! It is always tiring and hectic at times even a little scary since after seven years of teaching together my friend Amy and I realized we were very organized this year - something new for each of us! It is always so neat to hear the kids singing about God and being excited about what they are learning. I heard at least 26 children accepted Jesus as their Savior. That makes it all the more exciting!

Thank you all who continue to pray for our family. I am already praying for where God will use us next. We are all healing and doing well. We continue to be blessed by the stories we hear of how Luke's story has touched lives. Thank you for sharing. I continue to write thank you notes and know I have missed some of you. I appreciate everything you have done to help.

If you get a chance to read Psalm 145, that is what I was drawn to this week.

Change

I am not one to make big changes quickly. Even though I like to be spontaneous in the day-to-day, I like to think things over for a while...like moving to Georgia. Eric likes to tell that I came down I-70 making fingernail marks as I held on to the highway, but I now call Georgia home. We don't have family here but God has provided us with His family in our Christian friends here. Having Luke was a big change I had to think over a while. I was okay with two children but when we got pregnant I had to get my mind around three. I was so ready for our family to grow and ready to love a new little baby. I now have to get my mind back around our family of four. We were five for such a brief moment in time - but I was ready for that. We all work not to forget Luke. Hogan put a picture of him on my phone today so I won't forget him. I continue to walk back through each of his days as I imprint each moment into my mind. God continues to bless us each day some with laughter, some with tears, some with questions but mostly with assurance. How could we live without God's assurance that He is with us each step of the way. In Utmost for His Highest it says, "When we realize how feeble we are in facing difficulties, the difficulties become like giants, we become like grasshoppers, and God seems to be nonexistent. But remember God's assurance to us - 'I will never...forsake you.'" No matter what God is with us and carrying us. I was recently talking with a friend walking through a very difficult time and we talked about how when we know "we can't do it" God always brings us through with strength and peace for every moment.

Today is one month without Luke on this earth. It has been a month of change. Death, a funeral, going back to a "normal" life, school ending, travel, a haircut (I had a big haircut this week). My hairdresser was hesitant to do such a drastic cut - too much change at once, but I laughed and said let's just do it! Change can seem hard but usually ends up good and it has been especially good for Luke because he no longer is confined to his struggles here on earth.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance."