Arise, Shine!

"Arise, shine for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you. See darkness covers the earth and thick is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears over you." Isaiah 60:1-2

This verse has always been special to me because my mother used to wake us up with it. She would fling up the shade and say, "arise, shine for thy light has come Isaiah 60:1" That was all I had ever read of the verse until tonight. Our worship minister brought this verse to us tonight during a devotional time, talking about times of depression and discourgement. Jesus is our light and he has come for us.

There are so many times when I feel the weight of this world and the things of this world pressing down. I have to remember that we are God's children, he is with us aalways and his glory will shine through us and bring his light to this dark world. Just as the sun rises each morning, God brings his light new to us each morning so that we can go out and be his light.

I want to shine God's light and I pray he will give me opportunities to share his love with the world.

Yo-yos and living sacrifices.

It has been summer - and summer means no schedule, travel, relaxing by the pool, friends and fun. As I went through this summer it hit me that I felt like a yo-yo in my spiritual life. It is so easy to swing away from God in the midst of fun and sun - caught up in my own desires. Just as the one holding the yo-yo has to draw the yo-yo back up that is the way I feel God draws me back to him from my selfish ways.

Heading back to school means getting back on a schedule, Bible study on Tuesdays and church again on Wednesdays...more communion with God, intentional time with God that is so easy to slide away from in the summer. This week in Bible study we were in Romans. The verse "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:1-2 The lady teaching asked if we knew the problem with living sacrifices? They crawl off the altar! That is what I feel like I have done and am back on the altar ready to offer my life as a living sacrifice for God to do with what he wants. I loved that picture of crawling off the altar. It is so easy to do, but also easy to crawl right back up there - ready to live for God.

Family

I have thought a lot about family in recent weeks. A few weeks ago three friends of ours had parents die within a few days of each other. As we sat through each of these funerals we listened to the families share their memories, laughter, tears and love. Each family is different and it made me so appreciative to have mine. This last weekend we got to be with my aunt and uncle in Dallas and my cousin who spent much time at our house growing up. It was so much fun to think back on our memories - the good and the bad. We laughed so hard and we enjoyed watching the next generation of cousins playing together. My favorite line is what Hogan told his best friend when we got home. When asked what we did in Dallas he replied " we ate the whole time!" As you can guess we were with the Howard's. It was all about the taste! (and my Uncle Jerry is the king of BBQ!!!)

Tonight I went to my first meeting of a different kind of family - the Family Advisory Council at Children's Healtcare of Atlanta - Scottish Rite. This is a committee I was asked to be on. We are going to be working to "advance family-centered services and support through the NICU policies, practices and procedures". As I walked out of my meeting I was hit with a wave - an overwhelming wave of grief. I have been back up to the hospital several times and really do fine most of the time. Sp this hit me out of the blue! Maybe it was reliving our experiences there or maybe it is just a relief to be helping through my experience. It was so good to be able to call a grieving friend who is part of my family - the family of God. We can also laugh together, cry together and share memories but we can also share the knowledge and joy that parts of our family are in heaven. Whatever the family God has provided here on earth, it is such a comfort to know we have a family beyond this earth led by a heavenly father. We rest in the love of Jesus and the overwhelming power He has, yet he cares about every little detail of our lives.

Celebrate

Today we celebrate one year since the end of Luke's life here on earth and the beginning of his life in heaven. It has been a year of tears, a year of missing but also a year to celebrate God's goodness. He provides all we need in every situation and we are so thankful. I just always come back to Psalm 139 which was one of my dad's favorites. "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful, I know that full well.My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." God created each one of us to be special and to be His children. We trust in the knowledge that God has a plan for our lives and we know it will be best for us. A friend recently sent a poem to me written by a young girl with cancer. It talks about how we need to take the time to sit and listen to the rain, to dance, to play with our kids, to help someone instead of hurrying on our way...life is too short to wish we had taken the time to do and appreciate the small things. I want to remember that in the busyness of each day.

New Baby...

We got a new baby last week. Not the kind of baby I want, but the kind you get when you have a brief moment of insanity. You walk in the PetSmart to get tick medicine and see that it is adoption day. You hear your kids start begging to look at the puppies..."sure you can look". This leads to lots of begging because the little black one is so cute. Then you let them call their dad to see what he will say. His words? "What do you think?" Then you hear your voice answer I guess we could get him. Then with kids bouncing off the walls you race home to see if you have a crate and a gate then quickly call the pet rescue lady to see if she will hold the little black puppy and a few hours later and much paperwork later you have a new addition to the family. I had quite a few moments this week where I wondered how in the world I let this happen, but he is really cute and pretty good (if the kids remember to take him out) and I figured out he can make it from 12 am til 6:45 am without going out because his sleepy mom accidently didn't hear the alarm at 3 am! His name is Duke and he has had a hard life already so we are going to give him a loving home.

Praying

This is a button that links to a website of a wonderful family. Their youngest child, Stellan should not have lived to be born according to the doctors. He was born five months ago totally healthy. Last weekend his heart went into SVT which is what it was doing in the womb. If you want to read their story and pray for Stellan that would be great.

I follow a lot of blogs but just now in following Stellan through this day to day, minute to minute struggle do I think I understand what some of you went through in following Luke's journey. I check the computer a couple times a day to see if there are changes and what to pray about. I don't know this family, but feel I do through their blog. I prayed for Stellan before he was born and was so thrilled to hear of the miracle God did in his life, that he was born and has had five healthy months. It is so exciting to see God answer prayers. Last Wednesday I just prayed and cried out to God while we were singing a beautiful song - "God is Here". I had a lot of burdens for friends that day and I laid them down that night to God. The song says "He will break the yoke and lift the heavy burdens". As we sang that song this morning I rejoiced in answered prayers. God is with us and ready to listen to us anytime we call on him. I recently heard a saying that I love; I would rather be in a storm with Jesus than anywhere else without him. God is here with us carrying us through every trial.

A fresh beginning.

This time of year brings such promise, excitement and energy as spring bursts forth. I love this time of year - it just gives me joy in the new beginnings of life in the flowering trees, the new grass beginning to turn green and the warm sunshine. I am realizing I missed much of this last year as my days were spent inside the NICU. I drove past the flowers, trees and grass with my mind intent on getting to Luke and home to Hogan and Sydney. As I took Hogan to Science Olympiad this weekend I realized that last year I dropped him off and hurried up to be with Luke. This was the time Luke was here on this earth, amidst the promise of new beginnings. It brings tears as well as joy to think he is in heaven where the excitement and energy of spring is probably always there.

Just before Luke was born, Sydney prayed to accept Jesus as her Savior and Lord. We waited for her to be baptized until last week. John Conrad baptized her and he also did Luke's funeral service. He shared with Sydney that last Sunday (March 1st) was St. David's day which is celebrated in Wales (our pastor is from there). It is celebrated with the wearing of a dafodil. We will always remember Sydney's "new birth" in Christ with the newness of spring in the dafodil.

It is easy to get caught up in the joy and sunshine until you turn on the news or talk to a friend. Then I am reminded of all the "stuff" of this world...finances, cancer, death, divorce, job-loss, storms...but in the midst of the dark things there is one rock we can cling to who can bring us a fresh new beginning no matter how dark our lives get.

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Hebrews 8:13

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." Psalm 28:7

"Majestic"

That is just the only word I could think of as I looked at the breathtaking views we had each day of skiing. I just love the mountains and the snow. I really hope there are mountains in heaven. Only God could create somthing so spectacular. Of course, being the anniversary of Luke's birth he was on my mind so much last week. A really neat thing happened as we were renting our skiis. They have stickers on them where they write your name so you don't lose your skiis at the resort. The skiis the guy got out for me still had a name on the sticker and it was Luke. I had to take a picture so everyone could see. It was goood to be away and to be together. I did just fine until Saturday. On the plane home there were at least three babies. One sitting right behind us who was about my favorite age - 5 months old and a bald headed baby boy in a sweet little sleeper. Then we got home and some people came to look at our house ( we listed it on Craig's list to see what would happen because we want to move but are waiting for God's guidance)and they had a darling little 5 month old boy. Then Eric and I watched an old movie that was sad and had a baby in it. I ended the night in tears because there just seemed to be babies everywhere I turned that day. It really made me want a baby so badly even though I think God is closing that door for us. I felt much better having cried and press on with life.

Happy Birthday Luke!

We were talking last night about how long it seems since this time last year... the beginning of our short time with Luke here on earth. We are out skiing in Salt Lake City and enjoying some family time together. I'll post some pictures tomorrow! We are just thanking God for his goodness and blessings here in these beautiful mountains!

Where did January go?

I can't believe January is done. We have been doing the usual running the kids to karate, basketball, guitar, piano, broadway babies and church. I am feeling a little full of emotion at this time as I think back on last year. I was trying so hard to prepare for Luke. Trying to get the house ready, his things ready, mentally preparing to have a baby after quite a few years...if I had only known I would have sat down more with him and just cherished the moments while he was still inside me. Two neat things have happened this month. One day I received a letter from Scottish-Rite hospital where Luke was. They asked me to come share Luke's story at a lunch with hospital staff to let them know how our experience had gone. I hope to be able to share how God worked in us during that time too. Also that day I received an email from a lady who had come across our blog in following up on some of Luke's charts. She read his story and emailed me to say how thankful she was and how touched she was by what she read. Her 19 year-old son died last year in June just after Luke. God is still using his story. I continue to enjoy my time with two of Luke's nurses. Their friendships will always be special to me because they knew Luke and took care of him when I couldn't.

My friend Lynne shared this verse with me this week. 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort."

I love that God does comfort us in our sufferings and gives us his words and our own stories of how he has worked in our lives so that we can help others in their sufferings.

Oh how they change!

When we were in Kansas City over Christmas we took the kids by Crown Center on the way home from the Plaza lights. They love to climb on these big wooden vehicles they have out by the ice rink. I was taking the pictures off my camera and went back a few years to some old climbing adventures. They have changed to much! Here are Caleb, Hogan, Sarah, Sydney and Ben - 2003 and 2008.

Laughter is the best medicine!

I have always heard that saying, but really lived it this week. We all headed to my mom's in Kansas City. Four adults, five kids, one dog and lots of chaos. We had food, movies, friends. loud music, games, food, toys, fighting, food, tv and lots of laughter. We always seem to laugh when we are together. Eric even said Rob's laugh sounded like my dad. We laughed over the kids, laughed at each other, laughed over cards and just had a lot of fun. It really lifted my spirits which hadn't been very merry. I am thankful God gave us humor and the ability to laugh. It just makes the world easier!