Well, I did it tonight. I broke my bowl. This idea all began from a blog I follow of another mother who lost a baby. Back in May my brother's family was here and I was reading the blog on my computer one night with Kirsten. This girl told how she had read in a grief book that it would be good therapy to break a piece of pottery. She felt led to break a pitcher one night and God really touched her as she put it back together... Of course, within the week my sister (in-law) Kirsten had bought me a bowl to break when I was ready, but I wasn't ready. I put it on the fridge in the laundry room and have looked at it often, but haven't felt the need to break it. Tonight I was overwhelmed as I lay sleepless in bed, praying, that I had to get up and break the bowl. With many tears, I sat outside and held the bowl for a long time. It was really pretty. It felt good to hold it whole, but I knew I needed to break it. Memories of Luke played in my head. I thanked God for his life and the journey we have gone through. Joy, tears, trust, faith, total surrender. I felt God saying "I need all of you - broken" - I thought of Jesus and how he gave his body to be broken on the cross for all of us - it was then that I could break the bowl. (Of course it didn't break when I threw it down and it made a really loud noise at 1a.m. so I went into the shop and used a hammer. Doesn't God always bring a smile in the midst of tears!) I picked up the pieces and carefully carried them inside. I began to glue them back together thinking of how God puts us back together. We may still bear the scars from our brokeness but we can be whole again. I love my bowl even more now. I know it is in the brokeness that God can flow through us and use us for His purpose. My bowl sits in my china cabinet now so I can see it daily and thank God for using us, taking care of us and most of all for loving us.
Psalm 147 :1-5 "Praise the Lord. How good to sing praises to our God! How delightful and how fitting...He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. He counts the stars and calls them all by name. How great is our Lord! His power is absolute! His understanding is beyond comprehension!"
7 comments:
You need to write a book. I think I've mentioned that to you before. Your mother and I talked about it. You really need to do it. When I saw the picture my first thought was, "What a beautiful bowl." Not - "Oh, a mended broken bowl." You have such a beautiful spirit. Whole, broken and mending, whatever, you have a beautiful spirit. You are so easy to love Susan. Cynthia
I am so blessed to call you friend.
I have been thinking alot about you and Luke lately and I have not asked how you are really doing...with our busy school schedules and activites time just goes by so fast. Thanks for being such a strong Godly example to us moms, friends, sisters and daughters. I love you!
Lynne
Hi Susan
What a wonderful and beautiful story and what an inspiration you are to me when I read all your stories. God bless you. Oh those broken pieces and now back together-just like Jesus. Wow what a story to uplift me. Love gloria
Wow is all i can say. You are such an inspiration. I have been dealing with a lot right now and ur post is what I needed to read. How God needs us to be broken to place us back together. Thanks and God Bless. Love April
i love that we've learned through our teaching pastor it is only in our admitted brokeness that we truly whole - when we see ourselves for who we really are, our suffering and pain, that we can glorify God because it reveals who He truly is - the only One who can put humpty dumpty together again.
(or something like that, i'm sure it was much more eloquent!)
I read that blog also, and loved the idea of breaking the pitcher - and now you breaking the bowl.
We all still think of you and pray for you - and can never forget the pictures of little Luke.
You know my cousin Stephanie Rojas and thus through the world of blogging, I know of you and Luke. You have such great faith and fortitude. I have 2 boys and have often wondered what would happen if God took one back before I was ready for Him to take back. I would hope and pray I would have enough faith to keep going and fortitude and strength to carry on and let His light shine through me. Thank you for sharing your soul. You truly are an amazing and beautiful daughter of God. God is mindful of you. Thank you again.
Sincerely,
Andrea B. Person
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